3.29.06
Today my boss said that she'll put out the Easter candy as soon as all the Tootsie Rolls are gone from the candy bowl. So in honor of the soon-to-be-eaten chocolate bunnies, my mouth currently awash with a symphony of corn syrup and artificial flavors, I sit down to write a list of other occurrences commemorated at work today.
1). Today, according to my calendar, marks the "Finest Day In Butter Cave History." One year ago today Connie stood up in the middle of a crowded laboratory staff meeting and shouted "I'll just get that, shall I?!!!" and then proceeded to crawl over the 30 people who were between her and the light switch that no one seemed to want to operate even after five requests from the lecturer for less light.
2) Today I tried the new "Cheesy Tots" on the Burger King breakfast menu. They're not as good as you might think they are.
3) Today is the first time I had to have a quick meeting with my team telling them not to gossip where they could be overheard 'cause the paranoid drama queen in the lab has eavesdropped on us, misinterpreted us, and then "confronted" our manager about how unfair it is that the Butter Cave staff knows she's being fired before she does. (We didn't know and she wasn't fired though some probably aren't opposed to the theory.)
4) Today we realized why the new trainee, who staunchly maintains that Seven-of-Nine is more than eye candy in a tight uniform and that Voyager is a great show, is having so much trouble learning his chromosomes. Anyone who can delude himself into believing that Seven-of-Nine is a great character actress obviously is going to have trouble assimilating any information pertaining to reality.
5) Today is the first time we've listened to Justin Timberlake's CD this year, and the first time this year everyone has sung "It feels like som'ms heatin' up, can leave wi-chu?!"
6) We declared Scott the "Queen of Capturing" (capturing = taking a picture of cells under a microscope) again today which somehow failed to please him. The title has since been edited to "Scott, the Non-Gender-Specific-Ruler of Capturing."
7) Yesterday we reported out 80 cases so today we are only 88 cases behind our published turn-around time! Go Team!
8) Charleton "Chuck" Heston was exhaustively discussed, along with reviews of all of his movies, an assessment of exactly how attractive a flat hairy chest is, and a quick poll regarding who had seen which movie. Only one team member hasn't seen his original PLANET OF THE APES and that same team member consistently confuses CLOCKWORK ORANGE with OMEGA MAN as "they both involve him wearing a velour jogging suit, don't they?"
9) I had an ENORMOUS amount of sugar in the form of a slice of super frosted cake brought to us in recognition of the 1st anniversary of the opening of our sibling lab at ARUP. Afterwards I was so strung-out on sugar I went into a 3-point stance and then shouldered Matthew who then started shoving back while I chanted "ONE one-thousand, TWO one-thousand, THREE one-thousand!" Connie yelled "I'M ON THE PHONE", I whispered back "I'VE HAD TOO MUCH SUGAR!", and it all made Dr. Chen giggle.
10) I told Ruben "Go away" 13 separate times.
11) Three people came in to tell me Tom Jones had been knighted by Elizabeth II after I'd gotten the email from Dainon about it. None of them quoted Sir Tom's remarks, which were: "I've always been a royalist. The Queen is lovely and remains lovely still." Thank you Sir Tom. Thank you for reminding us that no matter how good something is, with a little work and a lot of Tom Jones it can always be worse.
1). Today, according to my calendar, marks the "Finest Day In Butter Cave History." One year ago today Connie stood up in the middle of a crowded laboratory staff meeting and shouted "I'll just get that, shall I?!!!" and then proceeded to crawl over the 30 people who were between her and the light switch that no one seemed to want to operate even after five requests from the lecturer for less light.
2) Today I tried the new "Cheesy Tots" on the Burger King breakfast menu. They're not as good as you might think they are.
3) Today is the first time I had to have a quick meeting with my team telling them not to gossip where they could be overheard 'cause the paranoid drama queen in the lab has eavesdropped on us, misinterpreted us, and then "confronted" our manager about how unfair it is that the Butter Cave staff knows she's being fired before she does. (We didn't know and she wasn't fired though some probably aren't opposed to the theory.)
4) Today we realized why the new trainee, who staunchly maintains that Seven-of-Nine is more than eye candy in a tight uniform and that Voyager is a great show, is having so much trouble learning his chromosomes. Anyone who can delude himself into believing that Seven-of-Nine is a great character actress obviously is going to have trouble assimilating any information pertaining to reality.
5) Today is the first time we've listened to Justin Timberlake's CD this year, and the first time this year everyone has sung "It feels like som'ms heatin' up, can leave wi-chu?!"
6) We declared Scott the "Queen of Capturing" (capturing = taking a picture of cells under a microscope) again today which somehow failed to please him. The title has since been edited to "Scott, the Non-Gender-Specific-Ruler of Capturing."
7) Yesterday we reported out 80 cases so today we are only 88 cases behind our published turn-around time! Go Team!
8) Charleton "Chuck" Heston was exhaustively discussed, along with reviews of all of his movies, an assessment of exactly how attractive a flat hairy chest is, and a quick poll regarding who had seen which movie. Only one team member hasn't seen his original PLANET OF THE APES and that same team member consistently confuses CLOCKWORK ORANGE with OMEGA MAN as "they both involve him wearing a velour jogging suit, don't they?"
9) I had an ENORMOUS amount of sugar in the form of a slice of super frosted cake brought to us in recognition of the 1st anniversary of the opening of our sibling lab at ARUP. Afterwards I was so strung-out on sugar I went into a 3-point stance and then shouldered Matthew who then started shoving back while I chanted "ONE one-thousand, TWO one-thousand, THREE one-thousand!" Connie yelled "I'M ON THE PHONE", I whispered back "I'VE HAD TOO MUCH SUGAR!", and it all made Dr. Chen giggle.
10) I told Ruben "Go away" 13 separate times.
11) Three people came in to tell me Tom Jones had been knighted by Elizabeth II after I'd gotten the email from Dainon about it. None of them quoted Sir Tom's remarks, which were: "I've always been a royalist. The Queen is lovely and remains lovely still." Thank you Sir Tom. Thank you for reminding us that no matter how good something is, with a little work and a lot of Tom Jones it can always be worse.
posted by naudy at 5:49 PM
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